The Sport Replacement Trap

After sport, a lot of us start looking for replacements.

"I need something competitive.

"I need a team."

"I need another passion."

"I need something that gives me the same rush."

It makes sense.

We miss something we had, so naturally we go looking for another version of it.

When asked why we are looking for these things, our response is often… Well, I used to be an athlete.

But does that really answer the question? To the person asking, sure. But to ourselves? Probably not.

What if what we are actually looking for is something a little bit more abstract than a field, locker room or dugout?  And if we can't directly replace the thing we lost, maybe what we actually need to do is understand what we had well enough to translate it.

Translate the data that we have on ourselves. I mean, we have years of it…

We got up at 4am to go to the weight room or the pool or the gym…

We were willing to work until we felt like we had nothing left.

We said no to going out because we had practice in the morning.

We structured our whole day around making sure we had enough food to eat.

And we said no thank you to opportunities that would have pulled us in another direction.

Why did we do that? I mean really think about it…

Why did you do that?

The obvious answer, and the one we often gave everyone, was, "I am an athlete."

And that answer was good enough.

At that time, we didn't need a "better" answer. So why look deeper?

We were in an ecosystem that understood and supported that simple and straightforward answer, so that was all we needed. Once that system was gone, understanding why we thrived there can become useful.

Thousands of different athletes lived inside a similar ecosystem. We practiced. We competed. We worked toward common goals.

But that doesn't mean we all experienced it the same way.

For one of us, it may have been about getting really good at something.

Another of us may have loved doing something brutally difficult.

Someone may have just absolutely loved to win!

And for some, it was all about the people beside them.

Usually, I've found it's a combination. But certain things mattered more to each of us, and those differences shaped how we experienced our sport.

But once sport ends, if we don't understand why we were willing to do all of that, how can we know which parts of that experience are worth carrying forward?

So now we are searching for replacements without really understanding what we're trying to replace.

The goal can't be to recreate sport or exactly how we felt during it.

Because the truth is we can't…

Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes me feel the same as I did when I was playing volleyball at the highest level I could play it at. The confidence that came with knowing that I was trained, ready and able to stand in against some of the best in the world.

Yeah… that is hard to replace.

So the goal can't be replacement, right?

Sport shaped a lot of who we are today. And maybe it can still give us something. A way to better understand ourselves even if we can't go back.

So maybe the goal isn't to find something that feels like sport.

Maybe it's to finally understand why sport felt like that to you.

Cheering you on!

Jill